At its mildest, a stalker is simply a troll that has attached itself to an individual. At worst, boring, at best, flattering. But a stalker can be a serious predator, using the Internet to pursue a real or imagined vendetta, or other pervertted agenda. Risk assessment is an essential first step.
How dangerous is it? Start by thinking about who it is; is it someone you have simply upset on the Internet, someone with whom you've had a relationship? Is it someone you knew before, or have met in the real world?
Think about where you see it - newsgroups? forums? chat rooms? email?
What does it say? Is it a matter of direct insults? Is it lies and rumors? Does it reveal information not generally known that you want kept secret?
When - and how often - does it appear?
How is it threatening? Is it simply annoying, or do you fear direct contact, betrayal or what? Think about the worst it can do ... how bad is that?
Why are you being stalked - is it simply spite and boredom, is it envy or resentment? Have you done anytghing that you think may have set it off?
Once you can answer these questions, you will have a clearer idea of what you are dealing with, and how quickly you may need to act.
What To Do - General Advice In virtually every case, the first line of defence is to do nothing; simply treat it as a troll and ignore it - most will go away fairly quickly. remember, these creatures are a form of troll; if they fail to get rapid feedback, their inclination is to move on- they usually have neither the stamina nor the intelligence for a difficult situation.
But - however mild this stalker appears - always save every message you receive. A good way to do this is to create a new folder in your mailbox, and move all mails or copy newsgroup postings to that folder. I'd advise keeping this folder for at least a year after the last post, possibly longer. This can be a useful store of evidence, if later required, and can help in identifying the stalker.
By definition, a stalker is a coward, like all bullies, like all who attack from behind, or in the dark. Be sure to mention this in every attack.
Stalkers make it personal - You make it impersonal. Minimise any private response you make; maximise every public response.
Not invariably, but usually, stalkers are none too bright; as JR would say, "The Elevator Don't Reach the Top Floor" - few intelligent people would go down the road to stalksville. Some, of course, are severely mentally ill. If you suspect that, then do not engage the stalker in any kind of dialog - just keep careful records and make appropriate reports.
Be Reasonable - Your attacks should be in response to the stalker's - and their first line of defense will be to accuse you of stalking - so don't go over the top. You'll usually be amazed how easy it is to attack a stalker, but exercise restraint. If they write in your forum, and it's safe to respond - then write in theirs. But be honest, brief and to the point - even if you post in every thread.
Keep records of all that you do, as well as what they do - and consider writing a web diary, or opening a web page to expose them. They may well have a reputation to lose - if they deserve to lose it, help them to lose it (example - The Zeppo).
Stalkers - however stupid they seem, they can be dangerous!
Troll. The Troll's purpose is to be given more credibility than (s)he deserves, and to suck people into useless, pointless, never-ending, emotionally-draining, ranting discussions full of verbal loops and "word labyrinths", playing people against each other, hurting their feelings, and wasting their time and emotional energy.
The stalker exhibits a familiar pattern of behaviour. Stalking often starts as a result of rejection; rejection rage and abandonment rage motivate the stalker to seek revenge through a predictable pattern of stalking behavior. The stalker, usually a loner and socially inept, becomes obsessed with their target and bombards them with messages, emails, gifts, or abuse. The stalking behaviour can last for years and the intensity of abuse increases over time. The abuse, initially consisting of psychological violence, often escalates and culminates in physical violence. It's a chilling statistic which reveals that 90% of women who are murdered were stalked by their ex-partner.
Internet stalker profile (and any stalker, especially a male)
If you've been wooed by a cyberstalker, this profile will bring you back to reality:
lives in a 1-room apartment which hasn't been cleaned for months - if ever
has stacks of p0rnographic magazines in his bedroom area
has poor personal hygiene
has poor table manners
has poor social etiquette
hasn't changed the sheets on his bed for months, which are now best described as crusty
has a bathroom, the state of which doesn't bear thinking about
lives on pizza and beer/coke, the remnants of which litter his apartment Warning signs
These are the signs to be alert to:
expects you to spend all of your time with him/her or inform him/her of your whereabouts
refuses to accept "no" for an answer
isolates you from your friends and/or family
puts you down in front of your family or friends
sends frequent unsolicited or unwelcome gifts
makes offers of unsolicited help
excessive niceness in the early stages
use of guilt to manipulate your feelings or to force you into courses of action you feel unhappy with
extreme jealousy
frequent loss of temper
abuse of alcohol and/or drugs
following you wherever you go
threats
physical or verbal abuse
damage or destruction to your property
talks about violence or is fascinated with themes of violence
makes your family or friends feel scared or uneasy