Firstly: When I'm born I'm black, When I grow up I'm black, When I get sick I'm black, When I go out the sun I'm black, When I get cold I'm black, When I get scared I'm still black, And when I die I'm still black.
But you white fella When you born you pink, When you grow up you white, When you get sick you green, When you go out the sun you red, When you get cold you blue, When you scared you yellow, And when you die you purple.....
And you got the cheek to call me colored!!!!!!!!!!!
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- . How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men f*rt more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. ------------------------------------------------- How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." ------------------------------------------------ How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. ------------------------------------------------ How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. ------------------------------------------------- What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. ---------------------------------------------- Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece. ------------------------------------------------ Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. ---------------------------------------------- What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..."
TO Dj, couple things you should know aha -- Two complementary colours together contain the three primary colours. Mixed in the right proportion these also create BLACK colours
--that is why black people are called coloured back in the day..so your joke doesnt work son
lol, thanks for the comic relief guys! Just a couple more:
How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? Phone her.
Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A. A battery has a positive side.
Q. Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. ------------------------------------------------ What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: "Lazy." ------------------------------------------------- Why is it called PMS? -- Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken ------------------------------------------------- Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been." ------------------------------------------------ I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately! ------------------------------------------------- WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table enjoying her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Play girl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. ------------------------------------------- WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after bagging items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a TV remote in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."