I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with our solicitor, and on her advice (and after $895 in consultation fees and numerous drafts) I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the season solstice holiday practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Australia great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "Australia" in the western hemisphere) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sex-ual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher...
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all!
Incidentally MR - someone in Australia was fired for using the Ho Ho Ho phrase when acting as Santa because the HO word can be used in a less savoury fashion! Apparently all Santas have now been told to use HA HA HA.
Bl00dy PC gone bl00dy mad...true story though. So...
I know Frank, that's why I used it - tongue in cheek. But no, not all Santas here are barred from using the expression, just one or two shopping chain companies that are making out they're showing concern for the greater good. Idiots imho.
Only a few more sleeps now people. Hope you've been good!
